Destination Unpleasant Please

posted by: Wesley Ismay

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People utilize vacations for the wrong ends. They seek destinations where they could not afford to live or ever have a chance to make a living at for a short duration. The beach with its sunny splendor (including all those near naked hotties!), or some expensive city with its treasure trove of fine dining restaurants and nightlife (with even drunker near naked hotties!), or a culturally vibrant area with museums (with naked sculptures!). Where each person may differ in what they seek to travel to, all these common vacation spots remind one of is how inadequate everyday existence is.

“Oh man [insert vacation spot here] was great! I did [these things I will never do on a daily basis]!” is the logic of a person who only wishes to see how ugly their everyday life is. This leads to a noxious viewpoint as towards the station of one’s life.

Instead of escaping somewhere amazing, go somewhere utterly dark, filthy, nasty, disgusting for a while. For example, a good start would be to traverse the slums, pick a fight and go to jail, wake up in your own vomit somewhere you don’t recognize without your cell phone. Also make sure to invite all the people you really don’t like to see. “Hey mom, I just booked a trip to East Chicago! We’re going to be staying at a Motel Six there.”

Upon returning from this excursion, one will appreciate what is regularly taken granted for. “Wow, I never realized how good clean drinking water is or what a bed actually felt like till I slept on concrete. Oh man I’m so glad to back from that [hellhole]”

Choices can lead to flummox
The good life is not anointed,
Spend a night in a cardboard box
The rest of life you will never be disappointed

posted in: Essays

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